No it is.
They have a group income of something like 146 billion pounds and they can't get it together to deliver a tin of fucking beans. Christ alive, if I had that much power I'd reward all of my workers with jet packs. Or at least solar powered bionic goat hooves so they could spring about merrily the isles.
But it seems Monsignor Leahy and his corporate monkeys have decided to spend the money on replacing the brains of their home shopping crew with the circuit boards from a 1980's Tandy home computer.
Today the Tesco van broke down. Fair enough, things break down.
The shopping didn't arrive. I did not panic, their vans never arrive on time. Well, hardly ever. I checked the answer phone messages. There was one from the driver saying that if I wanted my shopping, I should call 1471 and call him back.
He is a fuckwit.
Perhaps he might realise that if a phone goes straight to answer phone then they are more than likely on the phone therefore there is a 50% chance that the last person to call would be the person that they are phone to. Also, as they are currently speaking to someone, they might be the sort of person that gets more than one call a week and therefore leaving a number might be a good fucking idea.
The people in the call centre are fuckwits. Just useless fuckwits who follow scripts and procedures slavishly. People who will get to the end of their tiny lives and realise that they have wasted every single minute of their sorry pathetic existence on the phone, speaking to strangers about cabbages.
The home shopping manager in the Old Swan branch is rubbish: Unable to act or think laterally because her computer has been programmed by someone else.
So here we are, Tesco have all our money for the next 3-5 working days. They cannot deliver our shopping - because the computer won't let them. They cannot let us pick it up - the procedure doesn't work that way. They won't even just pick the items themselves and stick them in a taxi - so are kid can eat in the next 5-7 days (it is the weekend).
We are skint. It is my daughter birthday tomorrow.
Thanks Tesco.*
* Here is a picture of Sir Terry Leahy getting sucked off by a man while a monkey keeps dixie.
