Our daughter Mali is the most beautiful baby in the world.
Now I know what you are thinking: "Every parent thinks that their child is the most wonderful, most attractive, best behaved little angel that God could gift to a family. And also a credit to their excellent parenting skills".
Well, all other parents are wrong. Ours is the best.
It's so annoying when parents with, obviously substandard babies make a fuss of their own child's beauty without paying deference to the fact that ours is obviously a better model. "She maybe is a bit cute in a none-conventional way," I want to say, "But surely you must of noticed the obviously buckled head and constant drooling. Maybe you can have her fixed."
I say nothing of course except "ahhhh isn't she gorgeous..." I say this with my fingers crossed behind my back.
I also judge others in relation to our standards of parenting. Because our if baby is the best, most well behaved, sleeps all night, smiles all day, most socially charming child in the known universe etc. then it must surely transpire that everything we do must be ENTIRELY RIGHT AND THE PROPER WAY TO DO THINGS.
If people are having a bad time with their infants this is because they haven't been ENTIRELY RIGHT or done things THE PROPER WAY.
WE ARE, OF COURSE, DAZZLED BY OUR OWN CLEVERNESS.
My girlfriend is very beautiful and also a parenting skills specialist, so I suppose that these things are really down to her (I look like a gnome and have never been able to keep a houseplant alive for more than a fortnight.) She also earns the lions-share of the income and organises everything as well as telling me what to do, how to behave, what to say and how to dress.
Thinking about it, her parenting skills are damn fine. She's doing a great job on me!
I don't feel so clever now.
My daughter is still gorgeous though.
Better than yours.
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3 comments:
obviously your parenting skills are something to be desired i guess you wouldnt know a gorgeous baby until you see mine.haha so i feel you should get a reality check on life we get comments everyday on our baby she has even come first in photo shoots so before you start slagging to the world about how gorgeous your baby is think again
you really need to grow up the name mali says it all you really do need a reality check, you wouldnt know what gorgeous was so tell me how old is your baby? obviously people that go on about there babies being gorgeous have to prove something i dont because i already know that my baby is the best and the most gorgeous one out there, have a lovely day wont you
how wrong can you be if you saw my isabella you would know what beautiful is, her smile lights up the room she is beautiful from within,sent from heaven
and she loves her grandad. so there.
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